vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jesus induldging in a No.2 Lovely evening huh? I missed you old friend. It's the fabulous four day weekend. Thanksgiving weekend as well. I hate turkey so it doesn't really matter to me. Fortunately my family doesn't pretend we are religious on holidays so it works out. It gives me some time to get over my digusting cold and get some stuff done for school. I had a good time last night. It was my friend Marten's birthday party. A whole bunch of people lined his basement, which is oddly enough surrounded by numerous wooden religious idols and statues. Everyone giggles at the naked "Adam and Eve" one and the one that looks like Jesus induldging in a No.2. We played some cards and goofed off and danced and drank. I didn't get too messed up, I wasn't in the mood. What was nice, beyond the mountains of awkward small-talk, was having a real discussion with Brad. It was extremely warm in Marten's basement so Brad and I went for a walk to the park to get some air. Also to remove the icky redness that develops on one's cheeks when they are too warm. There was a cool breeze that brushed by every once and a while that eased the body heat. The grass was greener then I have ever seen in October and covered in tiny beads of rain from earlier. We marched along the gravel path, which looked too picturesque with it's canopy of trees. The best part was the misty fog that saturated the scene. Brad and I joked about how it looked like "Sleepy Hollow" and we searched for the headless horseman. He never showed, so we continued onto the park. Some of our other friends were there, but they had made it crystal that they preferred to keep themselves away from everyone else. I stood on the swing and rocked back and forth a bit. Suddenly Brad had disappeared somewhere and left his backpack leaning against the swingset post. I asked the others where he had gone and they gestured towards this large lumpy looking bush behind the park. I strolled around the bush calling out for Brad. Finally I noticed him in the centre of the dense mass of leaves so I managed to squeeze myself in amongst the straggly branches. We just sort of sat there and talked about friends and love and all that junk that two people in a mass of bushes talk about. It was quite relieving, all week I had been looking for someone to just really talk to. I'd tried with some of my close friends but they seemed too preoccupied with their own issues. You know when you're talking to someone and you are looking in their eyes and you can see they are not listening but rather formulating their next story/anecdote/theory. It's so disheartening. So, if you're reading this Brad, Thanks. You know what's a crappy place to be in a love life? That horrid inbetween period when they are lots of people around but they are all lukewarm. It's like going to your favourite restaurant and suddenly the menu is so generic and uninteresting. You're trying to sort of have a 'taste' of each while still mantaining a single life. I really don't want to get attatched to someone right now. I think of Montreal and seeing Erick, but that would be only a couple days and then it's back to long distance. I guess I can't say right now what feelings/experiances might transpier from seeing him but it would get complicated and hard. There is a guy at school that I hang out with sometimes. Another from another school that I met through a mutual friend. There's the new guy at work, who is so damned adorable but too old for me. And all of them are lukewarm. It's like, well we share some interests in a few things, he's pretty good looking, it's doable. But it's not as though any one of them really grabs you and makes you want to erase the rest of the world as to not disturb your romance. I'm going to remain patient. The best thing to do is surround myself with things I want to do. Keep myself occupied and enjoy being single for a while. Someone will come along from out of left field and sweep me off my feet. It's my time now. The best thing in the world is imagining something in your mind and then seeing it materialize somehow. The thing I imagined was this vintage jean jacket that would look great with my white boho skirt. Today while I was shopping with my mom and sister, I saw the jacket I had imagined. I'm wearing it as I type this and it feels right. It's purrfect. It reminds me of the jacket Britney Murphy wore to the MTV video awards. It made my week. Stay tuned for an image. But that is no guarantee! Love always Alli xoxox 8:32 p.m. - 2002-10-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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