vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- practice makes breaking up...easier Do you know that pit of the stomach feeling you get when you don't know whether you are going to break someones heart or they yours? I've had that for a few days. I was sitting in philosophy listening to our professor lecture about same sex marriage and I started thinking of when I will get married or not. Suddenly I had this feeling and I thought - I will not marry Ryan. I just can't see it happening. So that is when I knew that it was over. We don't talk much anymore, and when we do there isn't much to talk about. He is planning to go to a school far away and I think he should go away with no attatchments. Wait, we'll pretend like you are him and I am me. OK, here it goes: I don't think we should see each other anymore or maybe I think we should spend some time apart or I think we need to be honest with each other. This isn't working - we aren't communicating anymore and if that is all we have in our long distance relationship then we have a problem. Better. I want you to go to school with no attatchments. You have to realize how different it is. The one thing I realized lately is that we've grown apart. I love you but I know that this is the best thing for the both of us. We are becoming different people and that is becoming more apparent. You should meet other girls, girls who are capable of loving you like you deserve. Girls who have more in common with you and who are close by. Do not think for a minute that I regret our relationship because I don't. You have taught me a lot and have and always will be a large part of my life. As cliched as this is, I really hope that we can end this on good terms and be friends. It would mean a lot to me. That's it. I have to think, mull it over. Last night was the first night in about a couple months that I haven't slept in your shirt. One thing at a time. Erase, Erase, Erase. Love, Allison xo 12:53 a.m. - 03/11/2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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