vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- no more apologies I got fooled again, shame on me. Naive in my trust of other people and their "good" intentions. What did I really expect though? I am tired of apologizing for my love of politics. I am tired of apologizing for being intelligent. I am tired of apologizing for liking obnoxious music. I am tired of watering down my opinion. He would have never appreciated my writing. He would never have been able to appreciate my desire to go to Africa. Most of all I am tired of this charicature of a girl I drew for myself when attracting these boys. She has none of the qualities I most pride myself on having. How can I share my life with someone when I feel the need to I self-edit? That has nothing at all do to with love. Maybe it is scary to acknowledge I am looking for something more than just a laugh and an orgasm. If that was the case, I have great friends and a decent vibrator. I am looking for something more. I am so tired of feeling like this wounded girl who can't cope because that is not me at all. I am exhausted by the hurt. I am exhausted by letting myself feel hurt at all. They are blips at most, at best. Glitches in the plan. I refuse to let them ruin love for me. Alli xo 3:52 p.m. - 09/14/2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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