vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I trust Aretha There was nothing romantic about it. We were standing in the parking lot of a convenience store waiting for a cab. We had barely touched that evening except for a brush of the hand reaching for the brie. I can feel it in the air like a shaman feels rain coming on - one kiss. Soft and slow. Innocent. Eyes open. I hear the cab driver asking if I am Allison. Yes. As I get into the cab and close the door, I press my index finger to my lips and circle on the spot you just kissed. I can feel it pulsating through them. It makes me feel self-conscious as I give the cab driver my address. Who knew? My sex psych professor said one possibility as to why women are aroused (in terms of genital response) by nearly all sexual images is something of a defence mechanism: to protect their bodies from damage during sex. All of a sudden, I couldn't help but think of Aretha's tip "It's in his kiss":
I also couldn't help but feel his kiss, permeating through my lips engraving itself like silver leaf, meant something. Something more than an adaptive reaction on the part of my body to a sexual advance. I still have the fear, but this time it is because deep down I know this is something completely different. This time with this guy I have real chance to be happy. I have the chance to have a beautiful, real relationship. Is this the moment we have grown up? When we want something more than just flaming loins, something more sophisticated. We've dated the boys who could make us melt with one look and come with one touch. Maybe this boy doesn't hit you over the head with SEX, but he makes you laugh and he calls. You're older and tired of crying over the James Deans. You're ready to be happy for a change. You are a liberal at the polls, but you are still a bit of a conservative on issues of the heart. It's easier to play the hand you know than to play the odds. Then again, you think about how nice he would look in your bed in the morning and you begin to feel a bit more brave. <3 Allison P.S For anyone who cares, my gold membership expired and I lost all my image hosting so that is why my diary went on hiatus. To be honest, I was also feeling pretty confused and depressed so there wasn't much to say. I didn't have words for the hurt I was feeling, but I am getting them back slowly. I dropped a temporary template in here for now and I am going to start designing my own again. 12:02 a.m. - 01/21/2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||