vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just a crush I feel like a little girl in his eyes. A little girl with a crush. So cute. He laughs at my naivete. How sweet. But he's a man. I'm starting to believe the little axiom I mouthed whenever my cheeks flushed at thought of him: He's just a flirtatious guy. He calls everyone "Babe," or "Dream Girl." I'm not special. I'm another girl he flirts with at work to pass the time. But then there is a little voice in my head that says, "Wait!" He used to try and get together with me outside of the office all the time. He used to find ways to get my attention as he walked by my desk. He used to joke that my boyfriend was evil. I like to pretend that his coldness is explained my my coldness. I played it too cool. I acted disinterested and turned down his offers to grab drinks. I didn't want him to know I had a crush on him. And, well, mission accomplished. Now he doesn't try and get my attention or ask me what I'm doing on the weekend. He doesn't care. And my attempts to get his attention feel.. desperate and adolescent. Of course, when I didn't care what he thought, when I was taken, it all came so easily. I was smooth and sophisticated. Now, gangly teenager. How apropos! It's just a crush. 10:40 p.m. - 05/24/2011 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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