vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- September resolutions I knew right then that I'd been abducted Every time I said to myself, "Stop it. Stop checking your email every five minutes. Stop peeking to see if he's online. Stop hoping he will all of sudden realize how much he likes you," and managed to exert some self control, he would reappear. His emails would start with "Hello Allison!" He'll send a flirtatious text. And, I'll let down my defences. I'll say to myself, "Maybe you were too hard on him. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't bother at all." And then as soon as my emails and texts go sans response, my heart sinks another 20,000 leagues. Games are afoot. I don't feel like playing games. And I feel foolish. Like I keep inadvertently exposing my King in chess. My skeptical side frowns. "Come on, you really didn't see this coming?" I keep saying that I'm having a Robyn "Indestructible," moment, right now. "I let the bad ones in and the good ones go." It's especially disappointing given my recent resolutions. This year I decided to make resolutions for the year in September, as that feels more like the start of my year. I resolved: 1. To be more zen; I promised myself that whatever happens, happens and I have to accept it. And so, I said to myself, "If he meets the love of his life when he's away, what can I do about it?" I need to remind myself now. If he wants to see you, he'll make an effort. If he doesn't, he won't. If he ends up being Mr. Right Now, so be it. Chalk it up to experience. 8:57 p.m. - 09/13/2011 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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