vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary


Close Encounters

You are cordially invited to Sandy's Birthday.

Date: Friday, September 27, 2002

Time: 7ish to 12ish

Refreshments: Booze $15

Weed $10

Shrooms $10

Sleep-over: Girls only. To be announced later.

Address: 3165 Cantebury Cr.

Phone: 519-677-9845

I got the invitation about a month ago. Of course the name/address/phone was changed to keep that comforting sense of anonymity. I decided that I would indeed break my psuedo-edge. I call it that since although I have stayed away from drugs for a long time, I have on occasion had a drink or two. I've been feeling kind of shitty so I decided to get bombed. [I don't write about this to be "cool", if I did I would more often but whatever] I managed to achieve my goal and was pretty tipsy as the night progressed. I wasn't so gone however that I didn't see the unfortunate embarassing antics of a couple people.

One girl [whom I have mentioned before as the person who drags every ounce of sympathy out of me] decided to hang off of every guy in sight and make a general ass of herself before succumbing to sickness. It was however, the consensus that she was faking and it is sad to watch her spiral into an abyss.

The other [being a good friend of mine] decided to hang off of a boy whom she knew liked her and that she had recently turned down. He was sober, she was not, some feelings are confused. She was sick all over the place and spent a good half hour crying in the bathroom with some other girl. I understand that in a certain drunkeness one can do things they wouldn't normally but I know that she is like this anyways. I guess I just wish she would make a decision to make herself happy and stop making things worse. The trouble is she is an insatiable flirt and doesn't realize that THIS is why he went for her. It's just a general ugh thing.

Another disheartening part of my week is a friend with whom I had a falling out over a boy.

[see: Josh 1 or Josh 2 ] and Full Disclosure ]

We basically don't talk anymore. I feel sort of like I am still being punished for some of the choices I made. Now it is roughly 2 years after the fact, and nothing happened with Josh and I. I have tried endlessly to make ammense for what happened but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I tried telling myself for a while that I didn't miss the friendship but I do. In the past two weeks there have been times when all of us [ie. all the people involved excluding Josh] have hung out again and had a good time. She is talking to Josh again, which is her perogative, but something tells me that if she talks to him, I don't get to talk to her. It doesn't help that she has wrangled up some "too cool for school" hipsters as her new cronies.

I think I will write her a note or something. I need to get this all out of my head. It's burning a hole through my skull.

I can't think of anything else I need to say, except check out Operation Makeout! So good! Band site

Love always

Alli xoxoxox

6:24 p.m. - 2002-09-30


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