vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- don't fail me now elliot! I just spent the last half hour compiling a cd for my crush. I am so awkward about those things - I always sense rejection. (Insert him laughing here) I really hope it can open a dialogue between us - I am trying to use other people's poetry to sum up my emotions and sometimes that doesn't work out. I kept the note short and to the point - just a sly thank you. If he likes me, great and if not, it's ok. Don't fail me now Elliot Smith! I know I haven't really broken up with Ryan yet, but I can feel it, in the pit of my stomach. He is too preoccupied with his own life - he doesn't have room to include me in it. I feel like a fool for giving him my heart. My mom told me to consider myself single. I think everyone around me is getting tired of me suffering and frankly, so am I. I am going for it. Chris I don't know how to read boys anymore, I lost my radar. I know that he was one of the few people to take interest in my writing for the paper - he always asked about it. HE CARED ABOUT MY LIFE. Whenever I hang out with his suitemates, he always looks at me with a deeper look than natural. It's not creepy though, it makes me feel special. I wonder if he thinks about me. I think about him. If only I wasn't so shy; I am breaking out of my shyness and making a move, albeit a small one. I am getting my hair cut on Sunday and we are all going out for a friend's birthday. He is going to be there and I am going to talk to him and smile and flirt. It feels amazing. I am smiling again. <3 Allison xo 6:36 p.m. - 04/17/2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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