vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary

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paper doll man

I often read a couple of different music blogs in order to satiate my hunger for new music and every once and a while I stumble upon a gem. My new favourite song - which always happens to speak to my introspection - is You're a wolf by Sea Wolf. It is a beautiful soundscape with gentle guitar and deep bass or cello (I am not excellent at discerning instruments). It feels so bohemian: messy hair, large knit sweaters tied with belts, peasant skirts, and cheap red wine. Falling in love with this song is no difficult.

I have been thinking alot about relationships lately. Not that this really differs from usual since it appears they are my preoccupation. I have been examining the relationships of those around me and trying to envision what my next one will look like. The biggest breakthrough I had came in the form of a conversation with a very dear friend where we both agreed we are looking for someone great. Great doesn't necessarily mean great looking or great taste in music or great job. Great is the kind of person who makes you feel incredible. The funny thing is, these great guys often come in strange packaging. They usually arent our "type." I have to say though, after much contemplation I think a "type" is pure bull. Sure, we all have our fantasies where we design a man to measure up to us. We pick everything from his hair colour to his style to his favourite band and what our song will be. How often have we dated this type? How often has this type come along?

The more you build him (^this paper doll man) the less likely he is to come. We are costantly building an image of a man that will probably never exist and we will never date. I always hear friends saying their boyfriend or guy they are seeing is not their "type." Types do not matter and do not really exist. For myself I am usually compatible with a number of different guys who very often do not appear to be my type. What is more important is how that person makes you feel. For my friend Elise she has found someone who really adores her and whom she likes very much. Her first comment when talking of him was "he's not even my type." I think slowly she is letting go of her paper doll man and realizing this un-ideal man might actually be the right one, even if it is just for right now.

I used to think this was settling or lowering your standards. But if your standards are so high you are alone and unhappy, what kind of standards are they? Now of course don't lower them so much that you fish with an olympic size net (catching even the worst fish). Just think about the guy who makes you laugh and thinks you have a great mind - the one who you can be yourself around and not censor your words.

Allison xo

5:59 p.m. - 01/21/2006

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