vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary

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my Eureka! moment

I have made a decision that could completely change the course of my life, for better or worse depending on whom you ask. Next year I will be taking a year off from my studies (after graduation of course) in order to plot my next steps. Since grade nine I have been running, running, running to the next step. It can be exhausting and it can give everything a false sense of urgency. I am only 21 years old and I do not need to have it all planned out. Marriage by 27 with a couple of the kids the year after that. I will make partner in five years and earn six figures. Stop. The strange thing is, when you press stop the rest of the world keeps going. Other people have plans, big plans. A thesis, a master's, GRE, LSAT, lawschool, scholarships. I feel utterly detached from these things. It is hard to admit to the planners you don't know what you want to do.

I have done a complete 180 from where I was last year. Journalism school seemed to be a certainty, a given. Given the state of the industry however, my optimism has faded. The jobs just aren't there and the industry is going to undergo tremendous changes in the next ten years to adapt to the new realities of the news business and the leaps in technology. The dinosaurs are still trying to protect their jobs though, even if it seems like a sinking ship. Internships go to seasoned professionals and not to students. Snobbery. Rejection from one paper three times. Masochism.

During the summer I was received a glowing grade from a professor on an essay I poured my heart into and received new confidence. An academic in the field read my paper and also enjoyed it. Maybe this is something I can pursue I thought. 180. So while everyone else puts a ribbon around their application and crosses their fingers, I will wait for my Eureka! moment.

Allison xo

10:54 p.m. - 09/27/2006

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