vinylgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bad habits "Are you feeling discouraged?" he asked leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "Honestly," I said, "Yes." But I was not feeling discouraged because of the "current economic climate." Have you ever had one of those moments where you catch yourself in a bad habit � saying like or too many ums? Well I had that moment Saturday night where I caught myself saying how poor I am for the umpteen time. I wanted to stitch my lips. Bad habits. I remember that my parents promised me a Miss Piggy watch if I stopped sucking my thumb. A tough task since I was quite fond of the habit. But somehow I managed and relished the watch when I got it. Proud. Feeling grown up. I imagine jaundice-like nicotine stains on my fingers � the marks of addiction. Physical evidence of mental torment. When did I lose my vigor. When did I become socially awkward. Then I saw the email. Staff contacts changed. And Miss Journalism 2009 (I discovered her accolades after I googled her). Add: when did doubt become default. I try to tell myself I am talented and I will travel some day. But I can't hear it over the screech of the subway. Allison 11:07 p.m. - 05/25/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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